LITTLE ROCK — "Every night I tell myself I am the cosmos"
It's one of those songs that just reaches out and punches you in the chest; a song so naked and raw that you're almost embarrassed for the singer, who sounds utterly hurt and exposed, yet you can't not listen because the thing is just drop-dead gorgeous. It's the sound of a heart slowly breaking.
"I Am the Cosmos" was the A side to the only single Chris Bell ever released as a solo artist. Not long after it hit the shelves in the fall of 1978, Bell died at the wheel of his two-seater Triumph on the way home to east Memphis from a late-night visit to Ardent Studios, where years earlier he'd recorded #1 Record, the influential debut album of his band Big Star.
Bell formed that band with ex-Box Tops singer Alex Chilton, bassist Andy Hummel and drummer Jody Stephens. Their love of British invasion bands and their own ingrained Southern sensibilities resulted in an intriguing mix of shimmering pop that was elegiac and yearning, a potent mixture of The Kinks, The Beatles and gum-popping American teenage desire that stood out from Memphis' usual soundtrack of gritty soul and rock.
The only people who seemed to be paying attention, however, were critics and fellow musicians. #1 Record was a bust, and Bell took it hard as the group began to fracture. There was a failed suicide attempt with an overdose of pills, a stay at a mental institution and his departure from the band. (Chilton, Hummel and Stephens would continue as Big Star, recording Radio City, another fine album that didn't connect commercially and - minus Hummel - Sister Lovers/ Third, which wasn't released until 1978, four years after the group disbanded.)
Bell continued to record as well. He traveled through Europe with his brother in search of a record deal. Nothing materialized, but Bell, who had been in love with The Beatles since their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, did meet Paul McCartney and worked with Beatles engineer Geoff Emerick.
Back in Memphis, Bell, who had long struggledwith depression and drugs, drifted in and out of music, became a fervent Christian and worked in his family's restaurant for a time.
Renewed interest in the Big Star catalog by music geeks brought about some interest from the EMI label and things were looking up when tragedy struck Bell in his Triumph.
But unlike early flameouts like Jimi Hendrix or Brian Jones or Kurt Cobain, Chris Bell wouldn't become famous - well, sort of famous - until long after his death. Think about doomed British folkie Nick Drake, who, years after a fatal overdose, found fame when his music was used in a Volkswagen commercial.
Bell's work with Big Star, along with his song "I Am the Cosmos," would resonate by the '80s with bands like R.E.M., The Replacements, The Bangles, The dB's, The Posies and others who had an ear for sweet power pop with a vitriolic undercurrent. As these bands spread the Big Star/Bell gospel, his cult grew.
In 1992, during a full-on Big Star rediscovery, Rykodisc released Bell's I Am the Cosmos. Now Rhino has gone one better and on Monday will issue I Am the Cosmos (Deluxe), a two-CD collection with most of the Rykodisc album and another disc that includes previously unreleased gems.
For newcomers the first disc should prove a real joy. It's pure Brit-influenced pop with folk leanings. Theelegiac "Speed of Sound" is Bell at his most insecure, distraught and wounded at the end of a relationship. It reveals the frailty that underscores so many of his finest songs. "You and Your Sister" is another heavenly acoustic ode to love and longing, while on the dark "Better Save Yourself," Bell admonishes, "You shoulda gave your love to Jesus."
"Get Away" is a midtempo rocker that finds the singer done wrong once again. "Got Kinda Lost" is another deceptively upbeat track that wraps its desperation in a head-bopping, hook-filled melody.
The second disc holds some real surprises, including a couple of pre-Big Star songs (the brooding, somewhat funky "Looking Forward" and the Anglophile folk vibe of "Sunshine") as well as an early version of "My Life Is Right," which would appear on #1 Record. There are also previously unreleased alternate takes of classics like "Fight at the Table," "Make a Scene," "You and Your Sister," "I Am the Cosmos" and others.
It looks like another wave of Big Star appreciation has begun. Along with this brilliant set, Rhino has released Keep an Eye on the Sky, a four-disc boxed set of Big Star's music, which should bring even more recognition to the fragile, sensitive Bell and his undeniable influence.
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Style, Pages 60 on 09/27/2009