We're still here

And alive, we think

— MIKE HUCKABEE, that wacky ol' bass player on TV, has done it again. By which we mean he's made news, or at least called attention to himself. He's good at both. Sometimes simutaneously. Last year he ran for president of the whole younighted states. And we're pretty sure he once had an important job here in Arkansas.

Now he's a bass player who interviews people on the Fox news channel when the rest of us are watching football. That's not exactly the stuff of presidents, but it's a living.

After somebody in the press offended him (what's new?), the Rev. ex-Gov. Huckabee reported on his Fox website that Journalism had died. Not journalism, but capital-J Journalism. We were sorry to hear that. Because nobody ever gave us the memo.

Here, let Brother Huckabee tell it in his own words, because he's got some issues with paraphrasing:

"I'm sad to report today a death of a good friend to all of us. Journalism, the once esteemed fourth estate of our nation and the protector of our freedoms and a watchdog of our rights has passed away after a long struggle with a crippling and debilitating disease of acute dishonesty aggravated by advanced laziness and the loss of brain function."

Why, you wound us, sir. What's with that 47-word sentence? Our J-school professor would cough up a skull. Break it up, fella. Lots of short sentences. Simplify. That's how it's supposed to be done. Clarity, clarity, clarity. That's the ticket. If anything killed Journalism, it's those 47-word sentences in the lede.

Brother Huckabee continues in the same (worn out) vein: "I told you a couple of weeks ago about how the New York Times, Newsweek, Time and other media outlets took words I said on my radio commentary and instead of quoting them, summarized them and then distributed them. Bloggers and other supposedly professional journalists then took those already distorted interpretations, treated them as sources and added their own spices. Newsweek even had the audacity to use quote marks around a statement never even uttered as if it were my actual words."

What in the world? Are all of us here in inky wretchdom going to be held responsible for the collective sins not only of Newsweek, but bloggers in general? What next? Will we be blamed for the New York Times, and NPR, too? Enough, sir, enough.

MIKE HUCKABEE was well known in the Natural State for his thin skin, or at least he was when he was governor of Arkansas. And he was a heckuva govenor, too, agree or disagree with his politics. He actually took stands, in contrast to the current occupant of the Governor's Mansion, in addition to building highways and insuring kids. Even if he was a bit prickly. Word around the campfire is that his skin thickened considerably when he ran for president. Must be those winter nights in Iowa and New Hampshire. And though he's an easy enough target, he might actually have a point in his criticism of the press. It happens. Even an ex-politician may find an acorn from time to time.

If you remember the movie Broadcast News, Holly Hunter was trying to explain the news business to WilliamHurt when she said: "Another thing I can't stand is when White House reporters [shoot the bull] with each other after a briefing, and then one of them has a theory and the other quotes it in his story as 'White House sources' say . . . ."

Of all the criticisms that the Reverend Mr. Huckabee aims at the press, Advanced Laziness may be the most spot-on. See (1) Jayson Blair and his (non-)editors, (2) the New York Times' stories on John McCain and his-wink, wink-inappropriate behavior with a lobbyist of the female persuasion, (3) Jack Kelley and his why-do-youthink-they-call-them-"stories" at USA Today, (4) the Duke lacrosse feeding frenzy, (5) Operation Tailwind, (6) Dan Rather's great "expose" of George W. Bush that was going to change the 2004 election and instead changed mainly Dan Rather's employment status with CBS . . . . Just pick your favorite scandal. There are so many to choose from.

We knew a writer once who, when asked what the worst part of his job was, answered, "Writing." And the best part? "Having written." Talk about lazy: In another state, a lifetime ago, we remember a reporter who spent most of his time trying to explain to his editors why he couldn't come up with a particular story. ("The guy won't answer his phone. I'm waiting on call-backs. I don't think this will work.") Don't even get us started on the kind of editorial writers who just repeat news stories on the editorial pages, throw in a couple of That's Goods or That's Bads and call it an editorial.

BUT FOR every lazy journalist out there-every profession has its slackers-there's also an Amy Upshaw or Cynthia Howell or Cindy Murphy or Evie Blad or Amy Schlesing or Cathy Frye or Ginny LaRoe or Debra (Scoop-a-Day) Hale-Shelton. Heck, sometimes there's even a male reporter worth his salt, like a Noel Oman or John Lynch or Andy Davis. Coincidentally, all those reporters work at the same place: here at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.We're not certain, but we'd bet other newspapers have their own notables.

Journalism dead? Ask Charles Rangel or Joe Wilson or the folks at ACORN. Or, heck, just ask some folks here in Arkansas. Try asking Ernie Passailaigue or Ray Thornton, Blanche Lincoln or Mike Ross, Sue Madison or Mark Stodola. Or better yet, ask the folks at the juvenile center in Alexander, or the decidedly former comptroller in Pulaski County, Ron Quillin, or the happily former president of UCA, good ol', gone ol' Lu Hardin.

To paraphrase-yes, paraphrase-a favorite writer: The reports of journalism's death have been greatly exaggerated.

Who knows, journalism might even outlast the kind of talk shows hosted by bass players. There's no telling what kind of print, electronic or other form journalism will take in some future world, but we have an idea it'll be alive-and very much still kicking.

Editorial, Pages 10 on 09/21/2009

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