Kids Talk : Holding the paradox

By MAREN SCHMIDT

Posted: September 7, 2009 at 6:24 a.m.

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BENTONVILLE — Have you ever taken two magnets and tried to put like poles together?

If you put the north and the south pole of a magnettogether, there is attraction and attachment.

Try to put two north or two south poles together, and you feel

◊ The more you grab hold of something, the more it slips away.

◊I'm saving this for good. This is as good as it gets.

◊To be a success, you must seek failure.

◊Everything is important. Ultimately, nothing matters.

◊It takes courage to admit you are afraid.

◊The more personal you are, the more universal your appeal.

◊To be unique, imitate others.

◊To do something well, you may have to do it poorly.

What does holding a paradox in your mind have to do with our relationships with our children? Try this pair of ducks on for size:

My child is the most special person in the world, just like the other 6 billion people on this planet.

There is this delicate balance of opposing, yet true, ideas that helps create a clarity to our thinking and a meaningful purpose to our actions. The balance of the opposing thoughts becomes our compass pointing true north.

I'll leave you with a Zen koan: Blow, and you can extinguish a fire. Blow, and you can make a fire.

Next week: Seven factors of enlightenment.

◊◊ ◊

Kids Talk deals with childhood-development issues. Maren Schmidt founded a Montessori school and holds a Master of Education degree from Loyola College in Maryland. She has more than 25 years' experience working with children and holds teaching credentials from the Association Montessori Internationale. She is the author of "Understanding Montessori: A Guide for Parents." Contact her at maren@kidstalknews.

com or visit www.Maren-Schmidt.com.

a repulsion. Push as you might, you can't get the two similar poles to connect. The two like poles repel each other because of an electromagnetic force between them.

Holding a paradox in our mind creates a force that is akin to magnetism - unseen, yet powerful.

A paradox is a type of contradiction involving two opposite ideas that when considered separately are true. When you can believe both ideas simultaneously, a certain form of a propelling force presents itself. It's much like squeezing a watermelon seed between two fingers. A philosopher said that being able to hold a paradox in your mind is like giving a bird a second wing. With one wing there is no flying, but with two, the bird takes flight. With one idea, our minds are like a one-winged bird.

Believing two opposing ideas lifts our thinking to new heights.

What are some of these opposite ideas that create energy to propel us on our way and let our ideas take flight?

One of my favorites is this paradox:

Live today as if it were your last day. Live as though you will live forever.

I hear a friend of mine laughing. "That," he says, "is a fine pair of ducks."

Other paradoxes to ponder:

News, Pages 3 on 09/07/2009

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