COMMENTARY: Parental Supervision Required

By Bob Caudle

Posted: November 27, 2009 at 3:36 a.m.

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SPRINGDALE — Remember back when we were young and, according to our mothers, you could take virtually any household object and, “Put an eye out with that.”

Well, now, all the mothers have banded together.

Every year near the Christmas season, a group called World Against Toys Causing Harm Inc., announces a Top 10 list of toys that are dangerous for kids.

Watch is a Massachusetts charitable nonprofit corporation that’s been in business more than three decades.

Here’s its list of toys to avoid if you value your child’s well-being, or must-haves if your parents were like mine.

The list, just in time for the busiest shopping day of the year:

10. The Sportsman Shotgun - Watch says the danger is that it looks realistic and it shoots real rubber balls that make it more of a weapon than a toy. Bob says if you get hurt by a rubber ball, you need to toughen up, sissy.

9. Go Go Minis Pullback Vehicles - The rear tires come off and are a serious choking hazard says the group. The toy doesn’t work without the tires, either.

8. Inflatable Giga Ball - This big inflatable ball encourages kids to climb in it and at one point says that parental supervision is . For some theirkids need to come with a sign that says “parental supervision is required.”

7. Animal Alley Purse Pets - This product is made for infants and has fiber-like hair that can easily be removed creating potential for swallowing and choking. Let the cat play with this one. They’re used to yakking up hairballs.

6. Spider-Man Adjustable Toy Skates - The instructions call for helmets, wrist guards, knee guards and elbow guards. The only safety gear sold with it are knee and elbow pads. What do they expect?

A suit of armor? You skate. You fall down. You get up and skate some more. Ta-da.

5. Pucci Puppies, My Own Puppy House Golden Retriever - Watch says this product aimed at 2-year-olds comes with multiple little accessories. All very easy to swallow. Anything’s easy for a 2-year-old to swallow. That“parental supervision” tag comes into play again with this one.

4. Walk’n Sounds Digger the Dog - The industry voluntary standard is no crib toys with strings beyond 12 inches in length.

This product has a 26-inch cord.

This group has something against dogs.

3. Meadow Mystery Play-ASound Book With A Cuddle Pooh - The clothes are all choking threats to small children. Never, ever, under any circumstances buy a kid a toy with the word “Pooh” in it. You’re just asking for the kid to get severely beaten on every playground he happens across.

2. Extreme Spiral Copters - Watch says without safety glasses, this product serves as a highly dangerous possibility for eye injury. Bob says: “What a great opportunity to see what the helicopter will do to Grandma’s beehive hairdo.”

1. Ninja Battle gear, Michelangelo - There are no safety suggestions or safety gear, but “kick-butt signature” nunchucks are provided along with other weapons. Key words to avoid when buying toys: ninja, battle, and kick-butt signature nunchucks.

BOB CAUDLE WRITES A HUMOROUS COMMENTARY ON LOCAL, STATE AND NATIONAL ISSUES. HE IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY INSULTER.

Opinion, Pages 5 on 11/27/2009

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