Man’s Search Benefits Teen

GRESHAM’S SEEKS LIFE’S MEANING

By Vernon Tarver

Posted: November 2, 2009 at 6:10 a.m.

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FAYETTEVILLE — Jay Gresham made good money working for AT&T, provided well for his family and had security. But Gresham was missing something that would lead his life in a new direction.

“Basically there was one question I asked myself,” he said. “If I was on my deathbed, what could I say I had done with my life? At the time, all I could say was I fixed people’s phone lines. And I wanted my life to have more meaning than that.”

So instead of keeping the good-paying job and riding out the rest of his days, Gresham changed. And it turned out to be a change that would a◊ect an entire community.

Bighouse was born.

A Dream Come True

Gresham met Chris Morton while still working his AT&T job. A youth minister in Prairie Grove at the time, Morton had an idea of opening an afterschool program for teenagers. When Morton moved out of the area, Gresham decided to pick up where his friend left o◊.

“He wanted a place where we could build relationships with the kids and do it at a place other than the church,” Gresham said. “Because you know, the church can sometimes be intimidating, and a place like this wouldn’t be.

“Well, I’d never been a paid minister, but I had been involved with the youth since 1993. And there were just several instances that God orchestrated in my life that led me to this.”

The idea for Bighouse Youth Outreach LLC began around 2004. After planning and commitments of support, Bighouse was born in December 2006.

An afterschool program for seventh- through 12th-graders, it’s located in Prairie Grove.

“I’m the type of person that likes to plan and have everything in order,” said Jay Gresham’s wife, Melissa, who serves as secretary at Bighouse. “But before we knew it, we had 40 kids or more at our front door wanting to get it.

“So it just really got going in a hurry.”

The basic idea behind Bighouse is to provide a safe place where students can go after school. But at its core, Bighouse is much more.

Welcoming All

Many of the kids are from divorced families or have criminal backgrounds. But unlike other places that might shy away from these sort of teens, Bighouse welcomes them.

“One of the tipping points for me was, I watched a kid who had walked to church and he had walked a long way to get there,” Jay Gresham said. “Well, he was smoking a cigarette outside and somebody at the church told him to put it out. So he put the cigarette down, turned around and went home.

“And I thought to myself, if we’re turning away our kidsbecause of a cigarette, something is very wrong.”

Bighouse, at 120 S. Mock St., is a nonprofit organization that aims to provide fun for everyone involved. From basketball and volleyball, to video games and rock climbing, Bighouse has a little something for everybody.

Making the program work, though, is a never-ending task.

“This kind of work takes time, and if you’re faking it, teens will know,” Jay Gresham said. “Teenagers are some of the best at picking out who’s real or not. So you’ve got to be sincere.”

The effort also requires raising a lot of money. As a nonprofit group, Bighouse relies on the help of others to stay in business. From constant fundraising to an annual benefit, Bighouse is always in search of help. And so far, plenty of help has been provided.

In August, work began on an expansion at Bighouse. And just a few weeks ago, a new wing that included concessions and a tutoring and homework area opened.

“It has definitely been a journey of faith,” Gresham said. “Because there’s no way we could have gotten this far without the help of so many other people.” A Bright Future

Their happiness is apparent when those involved with running Bighouse talk about what they do. But speaking with the teenagers gives a clearer picture of how they view the place.

T.J. Betts is a 14-year-old who has been coming to Bighouse for more than a year. An eighth-grader in Prairie Grove schools, T.J. knows fi rsthand just how important this afterschool program is.

“It really helps the kids get away from their troubles,” T.J. said. “I think it helps us to get more inspired and to do our work.”

Like many other kids involved in the program, T.J. visits Bighouse for a number of reasons. For some, it might be an escape from a troubled home. For others, it could be a way to stay clear of a dangerous path.

And for Jay Gresham, Bighouse is the big reason he can look back on his life and smile when it’s over.

“If I die today, at least I would die doing what I knew I was supposed to do,” he said. “And I would die doing something that made me happy by making an impact on these kids’ lives.”

News, Pages 8 on 11/02/2009

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