LITTLE ROCK — Q. You’ve mentioned in the past that you are a mother to a son and, as another, I need your support in my “motherly advice.” I have been explaining to my recent college graduate son that, while it is great that he was able to find a job immediately, a part of the work is looking the part. 1 He has 1 /2 suits (the second is from high school graduation!) that he only wears for major meetings, and otherwise, at best, he wears a tie. I was in his office once and the other men wore jackets if not suits. He insists that his work is what they care about and he does not need to be tied down by others’ ideas of what’s right. Now he has been invited to a black tie New Year’s party at his boss’s and he has no intention to dress the part. Can you please yellat him?
A. I will be happy to do so for your son, since I hesitate to do so with my sons!
For his side, I imagine a new employee invited to such an occasion by a superior who has seen his inappropriate (or at least nonconforming) attire is doing something right. That said, you are still correct. If he is going to play the role of “the individual,” he needs to do so on a closer parallel to the standards. Skills and hard work are the most important assets, but they require getting in the door. And just because he was lucky enough to get in this door doesn’t mean he’ll get in every one. His potential next employer might be at this party: He won’t behearing the brilliant words of a maverick; he’ll see a potential troublemaker not worth taking a risk on.
To further the image of getting in the door with the right attire, just mention the recent infamous White House gatecrashers to your son. Theirs is a perfect example of what I have been preaching for years: The surest and easiest way to be accepted is to look the part. The reason those two serial celebrity hounds were able to get into the White House without a genuine invitation was that they looked the part. The wife was not only attractive and dressed appropriately in an Indian-themed gown in keeping with a dinner honoring the Indian prime minister, but - and I believe this is the more important reason - the husband was well-groomed and dressed in a well-cut and well-tailored tuxedo. There is no single item in a man’swardrobe that says with more distinct punctuation, “I belong.” Not only does a tux give the wearer self-confidence, but it gives others the idea that “this guy is one of us and we will be comfortable with him.”
Needless to say, I can thinkof many examples over the years where “dressing the part” has worked well for me. One of my favorites was an occasion where I had been a guest lecturer for a two-week cruise on a Greek ship. During one of the island stops, I had bought a handsome pair of costume jewelry earrings that were excellent copies of gold jewelry designed by Lalaounis (the renowned Greek jeweler who made several of the elegant piecesthat Aristotle Onassis gave to Jackie). After leaving the ship to return home, I went to the Athens airport dressed very nicely (not in the sweat-suit warm-up attire that so many of today’s travelers wear) and wearing my newly acquired earrings. As I approached the woman who was collecting boarding passes on my way onto the plane, I said, “Kalimera!” - showing off my also newly acquired knowledge that this meant, “Goodmorning” in Greek. She asked me to step to the side and wait for a minute, which, of course, I did. When the passengers had all been boarded, she put me in first class. I never knew which it was that did the trick - my recognizable earrings, my well put-together outfit, or my greeting; probably it was a combination of all three. I looked the part; there was an available seat in first class, and she felt confident that I would fit in.
Tell your son, who no doubt thinks he is pretty smart, that dressing the part is the easiest part of doing well in business - and in life. It is one of the few things he has absolute control over.
Call to my readers!
So many people say that “the look” does not make a difference. Obviously, I believe nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, because there are so many adventures well worth repeating, I’d really love to provide tales from my readers about experiences you have had where what was worn and the look created clearly made a difference. Please send me your anecdotes to lois.[email protected]. I’m anxious to hear your stories and others will be as well.
Q. How wide should a man's belt be? Why is it that the belt that fits into my trouser loops still seems too narrow and almost disappears beneath my stomach?
A. Now then, those are two quite different questions.
First, these days dress beltsare pretty consistently in the 1 1-inch to 1 /2-inch range. This size is designed to wear with more formal clothes, such as a suit or sport coat and with dress pants. Wider ones (over 2 inches wide) are more informal; they are appropriate for casual wear, such as with jeans.
As to the second part of your question, the belt’s disappearing beneath your stomach, my guess is that the belt is a shade too narrow and that your waistline is a shade too wide.
Incidentally, while buying a belt, it is always important not to fool yourself. Be realistic about your correct size. Although vanity makes us all want to think our waistline is smaller, oddly enough, the correct way to buy a belt is to choose one where the size (length measurement) is bigger than your actual waist size. For example, if your waist measures 32 or 33 inches and you, therefore, wear a size 32 or 33 trouser, you should buy a belt that is no smaller than a size 34.
The way to measure for your correct belt size is to measure at the place where you wear your trousers. Ideally, it should be at your true waistline. But some men wear their pants quite low, and unfortunately, some men weartheir pants like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum - far too high. Still, wherever it is, that is where you must measure so your new belt will fit your pants and your body as well. Send your questions for Male Call to:
lois.[email protected]
Northwest Profile, Pages 38 on 12/27/2009