LITTLE ROCK — You might know that Chris Brown has a new album out.
Or not. Some stores are refusing to stock Graffiti, the latest project of the R&B singer who pleaded guilty to the assault of his girlfriend Rihanna, who also recently released an album.
And the totally reformed and newly pacified Chris Brown understands this.
Or not. He recently posted on Twitter: “major stores r blackballing my cd. not stockin the shelves and lying to costumers. what the f*** i gotta do.”
(What he’s gotta do? Well, for starters, learn how to spell “customers.” We’re doubtful that people who rent Halloween outfits and such for a living feel deceived by record retailers.)
But we found a copy. And found ourselves holding it up to Rihanna’s new Rated R and piecing together a dialogue of their song lines.
Chris: Hey, lil mama.
Rihanna: What you wawa-want?
Chris: Need a ride? I can Range you up. Money? I can change you up.
Rihanna: Ain’t no need in tryin’.
Chris: We were supposed to be together. And I can’t let you go.
Rihanna: I’m torn apart and you know what you did to me was a crime. Cold case love.
Chris: Sometimes I don’t wanna wake up alone.
Rihanna: Ah yeah, yeah, yeah (Ah yeah, yeah, yeah).
Chris: I’m finally becoming a man.
Rihanna: Boy you broke my heart and now I’m standing here.
Chris: I just wanna give you what you need.
Rihanna: Oh, this is stupid. I’m not stupid. Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.
Chris: Damn, I want my baby back. It’s so cold without her.
Rihanna: I just wanna set you on fire.
Chris: I always felt the need for space. But now I can’t reach your face.
Rihanna: Guns in the air. Guns in the air. Guns in the air.
Chris: Can you forgive me? Please forgive me.
Rihanna: How it feel down there on your knees?
Chris: I need one more chance. We can still have it all.
Rihanna: What if you wasted love and our love in time disappeared and the perfect song ends up being the last song you’ll ever hear?
Chris: It’s gettin’ heavy. I think I’m about ready to break down.
Rihanna: I still love you but I just can’t do this.
Chris: Yes, some famous girls will break your hearts.
Rihanna: I know that I must pass this test.
Chris: So many ladies up in this club that I can choose from. And they all look amazing. That’s why its so hard to just pick one.
Rihanna: You act like a jerk.
Chris: I’ll be swimming in women.
Rihanna: Got my middle finger up. I don’t really give a f***.
Chris: Even though I’m so damaged, I gotta pick myself up and perform for the crowd.
Rihanna: While you getting your cry on, I’m getting my fly on.
Graffiti the inbox, e-mail: [email protected] Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture and a weekly segment on Little Rock’s KURB-FM, B98.5, at 7 a.m. Thursdays. Listen live or hear podcasts at B98.com.
Style, Pages 59 on 12/20/2009