ON CHRISTIANITY

By BILLY GRAHAM

Posted: December 17, 2009 at 5:01 a.m.

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LITTLE ROCK — DEAR REV. GRAHAM: We don’t understand our son-in-law. We had a close relationship at first, but now he tells our daughter that we irritate him and he wishes we’d just back off. What have we done wrong?

- N.W.

DEAR N.W.: I don’t know why your relationship with your son-in law has soured; he himself may not even know. Our motives and emotions can be very complicated, and sometimes we do things without even understanding why we do them. This was the Apostle Paul’s experience: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do” (Romans 7:15).

What does this have to do with your son-in-law? I’m not a psychologist, of course, but clearly something has happened in your relationship that now irritates him - something that wasn’t there before. I don’t know what it is - but (for example) could he be jealous of your close relationship with your daughter? Or could he feel that you’re somehow trying to control him, or are questioning his judgment when you give them advice?

Only you can answer this, of course. Let your daughter know this situation distresses you, and that you want to move beyond it. If the only way to do that is to “back off” (to use your son-in-law’s term), then it may be necessary, at least for a time.

Ask God to make you the best in-laws you possibly can be. Just as your son-in-law and daughter must adjust to their new role as husband and wife, so you and your husband must adjust to your new role as in laws. This isn’t always easy.

Write to Billy Graham in care of Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C. 28201 or visit the Web site at

www.billygraham.org

Weekend, Pages 38 on 12/17/2009

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