Colonel Mustard ... with the honors ... in the Strong National Museum of Play.
Which is to say that the board game Clue (which inspired a film -- three if you count the three different endings -- and even an off-Broadway musical) recently was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame at The Strong in New York.
It was joined by the Wiffle Ball (whose nomination we thought was full of holes) and the paper airplane (whose nomination we thought was just "plane" lame; it's not so much a toy as it is a ticket to detention and being grounded from playing with your real toys.)
After nearly 20 years in existence, the Toy Hall of Fame finally got a Clue and picked the best board game ever (apologies to previous inductees: Checkers, Class of 2003; Chess, Class of 2013; and Monopoly, Class of 1998 .... but sorry, not sorry for the Sorry! game, which still has not been inducted).
Looking back, solving murders involving scary weapons (the rusty lead pipe! The creepy wrench!), sketchy characters (I never did trust that shifty Professor Plum, who I never got to be because it was Donna's game and she just had to be purple -- hmph!) in a mansion of secret passageways probably wasn't all that kid-appropriate, but it was highly amusing. And it was a break from our other favorite neighborhood game, playing Charlie's Angels (where I'd assume Kate Jackson because Donna always had to be Jaclyn Smith) ... with cap guns. Go figure, cap guns are not in the Toy Hall of Fame. The closest thing is the Super Soaker water blaster, inducted in in 2015.
These days, we'd probably be more likely to gather around the -- yes, really -- The Golden Girls theme edition of Clue. Game objective: Determine "WHO ate the last piece cheesecake, WHAT they left at the scene of the crime, and WHICH room they did it in." Whoever it was, I'm sure the where had to be -- in my best Blanche Devereaux -- "out on the lanai!" (And I do declare, I will get to be Blanche, darn it! Donna can be Dorothy Zbornak.)
Clue, the Wiffle Ball and the paper airplane were selected from a class of finalists that also included the following toys:
Magic 8 ball: How is this toy taking its defeat? "ASK AGAIN LATER." OK, it's later, how is this toy taking its defeat? "BETTER NOT TELL YOU NOW."
Matchbox cars: Oh, these are toys? We thought they were just those things that mothers always manage to -- yowwww! -- trip on, while shrieking, "I told you to clean up that mess!"
My Little Pony: Who is going to break this to all the Bronies -- the unlikely subculture of adult male fans of the pastel equines? They definitely had a horse in this race.
PEZ: This nomination confirms what we always thought about the nasty chalky candy that comes out of the neck of Hello Kitty and other collectible character dispensers. PEZ is purely a plaything and not at all palatable.
Play food: You know, the plastic pears and potatoes and pie you used to pretend shop for with your pretend cart and then pretend cook in your pretend kitchen and then pretend eat. How fun adulthood used to be! Best of all, it cost pretend money and had pretend calories.
Risk: So there's, like a map and territories and armies and the point is global domination or something. I never actually played it. Nerdiness seemed to be the ultimate risk of Risk.
Uno: Oh sure, this card game of colors and numbers where the objective is to discard all your cards seems tame, but it can get really Wild. And even Wild Draw Four.
Transformers: It's sports cars, dump trucks and jets! No, it's shapeshifting robots in disguise! At least we think that's the kind of Transformers the Toy Hall of Fame intended, and not the electrical devices.
Sand: Natural toys, like the stick (Class of 2008) have been honored, so this beachy entry thought for "shore" it would be inducted this year. But ultimately the Toy Hall of Fame told it to pound sand.
Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture. Email:
Style on 11/19/2017